I Am A Lucky Man

I had a birthday recently. I didn’t do much, had a couple beers and watched some teevee. My wife, God bless her soul, decided that was no way to have a birthday.

I woke up on Saturday with no concrete plans, but to make up for my recent lack of posting. I had given some thought to going to the range or working in the shop, but nothing too serious. About 10 my wife’s phone began to ring. She wasn’t sure where it was, and just to be obnoxious I got to it first. Usually the only people who call on Saturday mornings are our parents. It was my best friend. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was driving down a highway that comes close to our home. I then asked him where he was headed and he told me that he was coming to our house. He didn’t beat around the bush or try to deny what he was doing. Turns out that my wonderful wife had been planning a surprise birthday party for the last two weeks. About 45 minutes later another friend of mine pulled in the drive. When they both got there we headed into the big town to meet two more of my friends for lunch at a great local restaurant (Hooters). We then proceeded back to the compound for home made sangria,  redneck cocktails (cold beer), and some good Texas tunes. I threw some burgers, venison sausage, and bacon wrapped jalapenos on the grill about 7:30. It was around 10:30pm by the time we got done eating and visiting.

Keep in mind that we had all of the outside lights on and there was unusually heavy movement around the yard.

 The two friends that we met in town are both firemen. One of them had restrained himself to non alcoholic beverages, and about 10:30 they decided that they should probably head home. I volunteered to help them load up their Jeep. Our dogs accompanied us out of the house and through the fence. One friend and Samson realized that there was something in one of our garbage bags at about the same time. Samson, being the good dog that he is, went to investigate. It was a skunk. Samson and the friend that was first out of the door got a nice coating of stink on them.  By the time that I could grab a .22 and light the skunk was gone. We bathed the Samson twice that night and once the next day. Poor dog.

I am really starting to get used to the smell.

The other two friends grew up in the country and did not seem to mind the smell. They spent the night and left late on Sunday. My best friend stayed until after the end of the NASCAR race. The wife and I were pretty much worn out by the time every one left, hence the lack of posting this weekend.

Here are the lessons that I learned this weekend:

1. I am a very lucky man.

2. My wife will never be able to secretly cheat on me with my best friend.

3. Always let someone else precede you outside if there is a skunk in the area.

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